Bellatrix Goes to the Hair Salon
by thatgirlwithonedimple
Summary: Rodolphus takes his wife Bellatrix to a Hair Salon to get her hair done...Apparently, filthy Muggles touching Bellatrix's hair is against the rules in Bellatrix's book.


*Bellatrix Goes to the Hair Salon*

"Hi, we're here for an appointment for my wife," said Rodolphus in a low voice to the lady at the counter.

"Ah, yes, a four-thirty appointment for Bellatrix Lestrange?" asked the lady, pushing her glasses back onto the ridge of her nose.

"Er-yes, but I have to warn you," said Rodolphus slowly, so he wouldn't be heard by his wife, sitting in a seat just a couple feet away from him. "My wife is a bit…_psychotic_, even more so when it comes to her hair."

The lady only laughed, throwing her head back. "I completely understand, sir. I have six sisters myself and we were all crazy about how our hair looked. But don't worry, she'll be in professional, well-trained hands."

"Um, okay, if you're sure then," he said, not even slightly comforted by what she said. "I'll be back in about an hour to pick her up."

The lady nodded, and Rodolphus bravely approached his wife. "Bella—"

"I heard what you said about me, you idiot, you're only a few feet in front of me," Bellatrix said in a bored voice.

Rodolphus kissed his wife's cheek. "Sorry, love. I'll be back to pick you up, okay?" He straightened his cloak and left, without waiting for a reply.

As soon as she was sure that he had left, Bellatrix sneakily pulled out her wand that she had been hiding from her husband. _We'll have some fun today, won't we?_ she thought, a smile creeping on to her face.

"Bellatrix," called the lady at the counter.

Bellatrix rose from her seat, her long, stringy hair swaying back and forth behind her. She walked towards the lady, her heels clacking against the floor, following her until they reached a leather, swivel chair. And all the while, her hand was still clutched to her wand. She sat on the chair and the woman fastened a sheet around Bellatrix's neck. "Hello, Bellatrix, I'm Sandy," she chirped. "What kind of hairstyle would you like today?"

"Don't talk to me," said Bellatrix, almost in a growl. "I hate having Muggles think they can talk to me this long without getting stabbed or set on fire."

Sandy's eyes widened, and she slowly removed her hands from Bellatrix' hair. "Sorry, what was that? Did you call me a 'Muggle'?"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes at the tremendous stupidity of just one Muggle. "Nevermind. I'm here because I have a…problem with my hair and I need you to fix it."

Sandy smiled and combed her fingers through Bellatrix' hair. "What could possibly be wrong with your hair? It's very beautiful hair, very thick and shiny. Maybe a little trim, then? Honestly, I don't see anything—" It was then that Sandy screamed.

Bellatrix lifted an eyebrow. "I'm guessing you've found my problem?"

"Th-th-there's an _animal!_ In your _hair!_" screeched Sandy, backing away from Bellatrix, who started to cackle.

"It's lovely, isn't it?" said Bellatrix, turning to face Sandy. "I was planning on killing it for a light snack, but it's much too squirmy for my taste, and it somehow ended up in my hair."

Sandy's eyes were thickly painted with horror, her mouth slightly open. "Y-you-who are—"

"Now, are you going to fix my hair, or not?"

"BELLATRIX!" cried Sandy, out of breath. "Come back here!"

"Stay away from my hair! _Crucio!_" she pointed her wand at Sandy, who dropped her pair of scissors and crumbled onto the floor.

More employees gathered around Sandy, some trying to approach Bellatrix and calm her down. "Ma'am, please, she's just trying to help you—''

"She was trying to actually cut off my hair! The nerve of some Muggles—"

"But that's what we do here, ma'am," a lady tried to reason.

"No! I told her to get this stupid creature out of my hair, not chop it all off!" sneered Bellatrix.

"Ma'am, please calm down, I'm sure this can all be handled—"

"STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO! AVADA KEDAVRA!" the lady fell to the floor, dead.

Everyone in the salon looked up. They all became pleasingly quiet to Bellatrix, who enjoyed the attention. She had killed a woman because she told her to calm down. What was wrong with that? They all looked at her as if she was crazy. She pointed her wand, still glowing green, at Sandy and said, "You," then she pointed at her own head and said, "Hair," and then she glared so fiercely and pointed at the floor, "_Now_."

Sandy quickly rushed over to Bellatrix's side, cautiously and quietly. No one spoke a word, no made a move for all eyes were focused upon the killer in the salon with a creature in her hair. They watched as Sandy tried to yank the poor creature out of Bellatrix's hair. Once or twice, Bellatrix would let out an "Ouch, be careful or you'll never see your arms again" and then Sandy would gasp and work even more carefully.

"Bellatrix," Sandy whispered, her voice radiating with fear. "Bellatrix, I might need to cut a few knots out."

Bellatrix's eyes widened and her nostrils flared. She whipped her head around to face Sandy and looked her straight in the eyes. "Do you want your weak and flimsy bones to be shaped into a knot? And then would you like me to cut you apart so I can untangle you? And then dip your ripped limbs in your own blood with a pinch of cinnamon and watch me eat yourself with your bare eyes?" She let each word, each syllable slither out of her mouth and watched the amusing reaction upon her victim. Her dark, merciless eyes boring into Sandy's soul, glazing it over and preparing to devour. "I didn't think so." she said finally, and faced forward, allowing Sandy to continue.

After a full hour of threats and curses and wand-pointing and screaming, the unfortunate creature (which had turned out to be a rabbit) was finally free. And dead. Sandy placed the lifeless rabbit in Bellatrix's hands, and watched her customer's face light up at the sight of a dead rodent.

"It's beautiful," Bellatrix murmured to herself. She held it close to her face, and sniffed it. "Mmmm," she moaned. She stood up from her chair, and walked up to the exit, where Rodolphus was walking to the door from the parking lot. "Well, I don't usually do this often, and I hope I never do this in the future, but as a thank-you from me to you Muggles, I'd like you all to keep this," She held up the dead rabbit for them to see, and placed it on the counter. "And if it makes any of you all feel better, this is the only place I've ever visited where the police hasn't shown up within an hour, and I personally think that is a new record for me, and it's all thanks to you disgusting people."

Rodolphus opened the door, and smiled at his wife, "Well, shall we go then?"

Bellatrix nodded. She turned her back, walked in front of her husband and left. Rodolphus's eyes only widened as he saw the back of Bellatrix's hair, with a huge bald spot in the center of her head, the only place with no hair. Sandy finally managed how to use scissors without customer's realizing it.


End file.
